So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
