'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
