They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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