Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it because I queefed?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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