i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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