brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
