she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
