So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
