he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
