Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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