i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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