So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
