I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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