Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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