Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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