Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
