my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
