coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My feet surprised me
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