I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
