you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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