I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
