My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
