so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
