She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
