my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
