Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
