Got a toothbrush?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
