I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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