so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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