And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
