Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
