So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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