At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
