Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
