She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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