rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As shirtless as possible
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
