I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have already put on my inside pants.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
