There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
