so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
