if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
