Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
