I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
