why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
