Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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