Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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