dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
