she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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