i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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