yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
