Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
